Quest Conference 2007
SHEFFIELD
‘God and Desire’
First Impressions of Conference
By S.F., York
Having toyed with the idea of attending the 2006 Quest conference, but deciding that Norwich was a bit too much of a trek, I decided to book early for the 2007 Conference in Sheffield. Living in York, Sheffield was a relatively short trip to make, and it was important to have a good turnout of Yorkshire members to welcome visitors to God’s own county.
Arriving in the rain-sodden steel city, I eventually found my way to the Tapton Hall of Residence, collected my comprehensive delegate’s pack and checked into my room. It would be fair to describe the non-en suite room as somewhat spartan (it put me in my mind of the kind of places I had stayed on school retreats!), but it was clean and comfortable. Having unpacked, I thought I would have a quick pint before dinner, to settle the nerves, but found that the bar had closed and would not re-open until after the AGM that evening. Not to worry.
Had a pleasant dinner and got down to the business of meeting, greeting and fine-tuning my introductions! I was pleasantly surprised to see a real mix of ages and backgrounds, and no apparent cliques. I suppose my biggest concern about coming to conference was that it would be ‘exclusive’ and difficult for anyone not part of one of the active regional groups to feel part of; my concerns proved groundless.
I was impressed with the musical ability of the group at evening prayers, belting out the hymns with real gusto, and not out of tune! It may sound a bit sad, but I genuinely enjoyed the AGM! It gave me a really good feel for the organisation and the issues that it faces, more so than you can get by just reading the excellent newsletter. I particularly liked the charming tradition whereby members refrain for voting for themselves in the elections for officer posts! A lot of issues were covered, such as the ‘groundbreaking’ leaflet produced by the Catholic Bishops Conference of England and Wales, which acknowledged the existence, and value, of gay men and lesbians in the church. I was also fascinated to hear about the monthly mass in Soho, which seems to be becoming established. It’s good to hear about these things, as stuck out in the provinces it’s easy to feel very isolated, particularly if your parish isn’t particularly ‘progressive’!
After the AGM it was, at last, time for a pint (or three) and a chat with some delegates who helped fill in the many gaps in my ‘Who’s Who in Quest’ knowledge. I got to bed about midnight.
Saturday began with a very hearty breakfast, followed by morning prayers. The previous evening I had quizzed some people about what to expect from the keynote speaker, James Alison. Some of those people who had read James’ books seemed to have been genuinely moved by them, so I was eagerly anticipating his talk on the theme of ‘God and Desire.’ James gave a deep and thought-provoking talk, though my head hurt at the end of it, having had to engage my brain in order to process some of the ideas and concepts that James covered in his fascinating talk!
After lunch (the highlight of which was a cracking treacle sponge and custard) we had some free time, and those that wanted to could take advantage of guided tours of the city’s Anglican and Catholic cathedrals. I had a wander round the city centre and then headed back for a late afternoon snooze before the gala dinner that evening.... but was rudely awoken at 6pm when the fire alarm went off! There were no obvious signs of flames or smoke, so we were allowed back in to preen ourselves in readiness for the evening’s festivities.
At dinner I found myself sitting next to a delegate who was also from York, which was a nice surprise. It’s good to know I’m not alone! An interesting dinner (I had never heard of ‘game-style lamb’ before!) was followed by an entertaining and anecdote-packed speech by Liz Stuart.
With everyone suitably merry, the disco kicked off. Some brave souls made the first foray onto the dance floor, and as the evening wore on (and the alcohol intake increased), more and more people were strutting their stuff. It’s fair to say that the mix of music was somewhat eclectic, but most tastes were catered for, finishing off with a rousing and high-kicking rendition of ‘New York New York.’ The disco may have stopped, but the chatting and drinking continued into the wee hours. If memory serves, I made it to bed at about 1.30am.
Unfortunately I couldn’t stay around for the Sunday of conference, as I had to drive back to York first thing to play tennis for my club; such are the burdens of captaincy!
Although I was only at conference for a day and a bit, I came away feeling that Quest had become more to me than just an organisation from which I received newsletters every now and again; it is a real community which offers support and inspiration for gay and lesbian Catholics wherever they are. I picked up a number of ideas for things I can do to engage with my parish, such as getting hold of some copies of the leaflet produced by the Catholic Bishops Conference and putting them at the back of the church (with the priest’s blessing, of course!). It’s easier to try to make a difference locally when you know that people across the country are doing the same thing, and in many cases are succeeding.
So if, like me, you have thought about going to a Quest conference but have not made the plunge, then my advice would be to book early for Roehampton 2008!
By a female member of Quest
The weekend began well for me, as I travelled to the conference with two friends: pleasant for me, but perhaps not so pleasant for the driver because that was the day of tropical rains on the motorways – not so easy to drive in – followed by a period of confusion as we got lost in the city centre before we found our way to Tapton Hall.
However, after that I was on unfamiliar territory with a large number of unfamiliar faces, which gave me, as a fairly shy woman, an uncomfortable and challenging couple of hours. The members of the welcoming team were very welcoming which was a blessing to me, but I couldn’t spend all my time in the comfort zone of the welcome table! So eventually I made my way shyly back to the women’s reception. This was not without a struggle, but my inner grown-up realised that there is no point in Ruby and Anne-Marie going to the trouble of arranging a special reception for the women if we don’t make use of it, so off I went.
This may be an appropriate point to acknowledge the work that Anne-Marie and Ruby put into encouraging women to attend the conference, and also into making this a good conference for them. This was my first Quest conference, so I can’t compare it to any other, but over the weekend both men and women told me what a positive difference it made to have so many women there, and put it down to Ruby and Anne-Marie’s influence. I give thanks for that.
Eight of us turned up and despite the efforts of experienced members to make us feel welcome and at home my shyness made me ill at ease, so that I was glad to get back to my room at the end of it, wondering what I had let myself in for. Supper time arrived and I made my way to the dining room, arriving in the queue just behind three of the newcomers who had been at the women’s meeting. We began to chat, the metaphorical sun came out and Hey Presto! Perhaps the weekend was going to be OK after all!
The weekend gave me many personal blessings, both small and large – conversations I had with individuals, the joy of finally meeting a couple of people that I have spoken to on the phone, the pleasure of spending time with friendly people that I like, an encounter with two exceptionally generous women. These I don’t need to share.
However, in broad terms the two things which impressed me most about the conference were firstly, the freedom I felt to be myself, and secondly the fact that prayer, the liturgy and the things of the Spirit are given such a high priority.
As far as the first point is concerned, I have a few close friends to whom I am ‘out’ and with whom I truly feel at home. It was a completely new experience for me to be at such a large gathering where I had the freedom to talk about matters touching my sexuality if I wished without feeling I needed to keep my voice down or look over my shoulder to see who might be listening. I really do appreciate that freedom and ease. That, though, is a sort of inevitable element of any support group for LGBTs.
The second point is much more telling because it is to do with choices that members of Quest make as Catholics about what we want our conference to be; and it situates us right at the heart of our faith and of our relationship with God. It strikes me that the Quest community assembled at this conference showed a high degree of the old-fashioned virtues – charity, in the sense which Religious have always used that word – generosity – a thirst for closeness to God, hospitality in the way that the community welcomed newcomers, an openness and lack of bitterness in talking about heterosexuals who don’t understand what it is to be homosexual. Any community dedicated to religious ideals could feel proud of, and edified by the way these virtues show themselves in the Quest community and it seems ironic that the teaching body of the Church looks on that community with suspicion, simply because of the issue of sexuality.
Above all, the liturgies were inclusive and I had a sense that everyone who attended was participating fully. I was highly impressed to find so many people at the 7.30 Mass on Saturday, knowing that many of them had been late to bed the night before!
On a practical level, I enjoyed the talks; I thought James and Kate complemented each other, though James was lucky to have the Saturday morning slot when everyone is fresh and I felt sympathy for Kate having the Sunday morning slot when everyone is getting towards the end of their listening resources! I’m looking forward to being able to read their texts and take in their meaning a bit more fully. I also found the question times very stimulating and particularly enjoyed the across the floor discussion between members at Kate’s question time. In fact, I would have liked to see more of that, though I realise it is not easy to fit everything into one weekend.
Elizabeth Stuart was the perfect after-dinner speaker – and that is not just the wine talking!
I benefited also from the informal contacts that I made with individual members of the conference. That was a blessing, and I feel that I came away with a few more friends. The informal sharing about our sexuality with other women was a very warming, helpful experience for me and I’m grateful for it. It was a rare opportunity to share in the company of people who know my experience, pain and struggle from the inside.
Although we have been talking about how wonderful it was to have so many women there, one thing which I very much appreciated was the male company! It isn’t often that I have so many men around me and I enjoyed it very much. I went from this conference straight to another one at which there were only two men present – what a difference!
Overall, I came away from the Quest conference feeling energised, a sure sign that the Spirit is active and working. The conference was a demonstration for me of how suspicion and prejudice are based on lack of experience. No one who attended this conference could fail to be impressed.
By M. B.
My journey to the conference began in late 2005 when I read an article by James Alison in a complimentary copy of the Quest Bulletin.
I had previously lapsed or rather stalled my practice as a Catholic for some 26 years, so in January 2006 started to attend Mass again at my local church and in that summer attended one of the Masses organised by the Soho Masses Pastoral Council at St Anne’s in Soho. What in my mind was to be a ‘come back and see’ has turned out to be a positive step in my life at this time and attending this year’s conference was part of my game plan so to speak, the theme of the Conference was a prompt – ‘God and Desire’.
The lectures and discussion were useful; all that is needed is a ‘praxis’ of how to do it in our everyday lives.
Worshipping as a ‘community’ of gay people was meaningful, very poignant at times, but most of all strengthening for me, as was personal discussion /chats with other conference goers, either in the bar or at meal times. Of the location, accommodations, etc, I have nothing but admiration for those whose task it was to see that it ran smoothly – because it did.
And yes I will go to next year’s event – climate change notwithstanding! And a big Thank You to Quest for helping this lost sheep return to the fold.